Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
