I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I've blown a few things in my day
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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