small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
