so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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