You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
