i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
