True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
