My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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