either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize