we have pet lesbian snakes
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i dont even know how to be here
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
