haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
