Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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