you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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