rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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