Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
