Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
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i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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