Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
