look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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