um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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