That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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