I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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