What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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