So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
