I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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