butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
