Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
