last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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