I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
