i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
