the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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