So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
