I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
