I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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