WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
