So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
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the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
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I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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