my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
