That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you win again, gameday.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
