you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
