my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize