I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
