Betty ford says i'm here all night
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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