she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
