No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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