More tranny stories later!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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