That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
