Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize