somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Say something about gay babies.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
