Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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