I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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