Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
