It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
