Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
