you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
