here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize