you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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