ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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