am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
