i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
